Me, My Selfie & Eye

A Midlife Conversation About Lost Identity, Grief & Seeing Who You Are

“Me, My Selfie & Eye” is my first book that took four years to write. It’s a timeless, relevant book meant to console and encourage anyone in the midst of identity loss. This book is an updated conversation about the process of midlife upheaval–when everything we believed about our Selves is no longer certain. Though focused on midlife, this story’s unfolding about Self-searching touches both men and women, across all life stages.

My book draws a contrast between a more known spiritual journey—a Dark Night of the Soul—and what I instead refer to as a Dark Flight of the Self. By defining distinctions, intimately sharing a personal journey, and using straightforward concepts, I offer readers insight to ‘see’ themselves and identity dismantling differently, as a means to move forward.

I envisioned the book as an intimate conversation. Making meaningful connections about complicated identity stuff (many are afraid to discuss) is why I wrote the book. I got frustrated by generic, overly-simplistic, prescriptive solutions to complex identity circumstances and emotions—(i.e. find happiness in 5 days or less!).

I believe most people want four things: To be seen, to be heard, to be understood, and to be loved. I wrote this book for these reasons. To see you, hear you, understand you, and to love you.

Audio Book Version

Click on an excerpt below to hear samples from the Audio Book:

Me, My Selfie and Eye

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Praise for Me, My Selfie & Eye:

“This is not just a book for women. As a man, I appreciated the honesty and insights revealed in this highly-readable memoir by Janna Lopez. By speaking the truth about herself, she is a teacher helping all of us pursue a sense of understanding on this journey we call living.”

Tom Hallman Jr.Pulitzer Prize-winning author

“Harrowing and beautiful, Lopez’s unflinching exploration of what it means to be a woman coming to terms with herself in midlife is a chaotic, glorious enchantment.”

Karen KarboAuthor of “In Praise of Difficult Women”

“This book is honest, gritty, funny, genuine, and full of heart. Janna is a trustworthy guide for all of our midlife transitions. Whether you’re going through one of your own, or supporting others through theirs, you’ll find dazzling gems here to light the way.”

Raphael CushnirAuthor of "The One Thing Holding You Back"

“I have always had the highest respect for Janna as an editor/publisher/writer/professional. What I didn’t know was just how much I would come to respect her as a pure artist and fearless spiritual visionary. This book is truly inspirational and I highly recommend it to anyone facing midlife trauma.”

Sarah MensahVice President and General Manager, NIKE Sportswear Asia Pacific/Latin America

“Janna Lopez is a straight talker at a time when straight talk is rare. Her candid, occasionally irreverent, and often hilarious take on midlife grief is a refreshing alternative to books that offer quick fixes. We don’t need fixing. We need help understanding what the hell is going on. This book steps into that role.”

Hope EdelmanAuthor of “Motherless Daughters"

“Just finished your book. Amazing depth and insight, and totally relatable. Courageous of you to dig in the dirt and bare your soul but you do tap into what is no doubt a universal struggle, whether people want to admit it or not. Well done!”

Todd SamovitzHollywood Screenwriter

“Your book, by the way—although not by the way, since it is absolutely crucial to everything I’m talking about—is unlike any book I’ve read. It is profoundly honest, generous in its honesty, and completely singular in its approach—in your approach—to self-expression and self-investigation. It exists, consciously or not, within a long tradition of autobiographical and metaphysical books of prose, but still manages to be new, which is an enormous accomplishment.” 

Brandon ShimodaAuthor, Grave on the Wall

“I was at the book club this week and just finished reading your book. I want to thank you again for how much of an impact your book has made for me. I retired from a corporate career and what I’ve been dealing with parallels your story. It helped to get words around what I’ve been feeling, so much about loss and grief. Recognizing it for what it is. I’m a photographer and have recently found so much joy in photographing flowers, much like you discovered with hummingbirds. Thank you again, it’s really made a difference!

L. KeppingerMarketing Executive

“In what is an inherently mysterious process that is unique to each person, I think one can benefit from hearing and sharing midlife stories. You have delivered a series of stories that are funny and real and relatable, and shared them for the benefit of others. You’ve made a beautiful contribution to the midlife conversation.”

Delila OlssonEducator

“That my journey through the darkness was actually a fundamental part of acquiring wisdom and not punishment for some cosmic errors in my young life. And I turned the last page knowing that I am lovable as flawed as I am.”

S. GeachRetired

“For me, your book validated the experience I had when going through my own dark flight more than 25 years ago. It gave me an opportunity to appreciate how far I’ve come. Though my circumstances were different, my thoughts and feelings about myself were achingly similar. It’s a break in belonging that is both painful and necessary.”

Susan Bender PhelpsSpeaker, Community Activist, Trainer

“This is the story of a woman in midlife watching her foundation crumble, imploding her self identity. The reader is allowed a front row seat into the depths of the struggle through her dark flight of the self to find place and inner peace. It’s an intimate, heart wrenching, sometimes lonely and often humorous journey. Her honesty opens the door for all of us to examine our own personal journey, purpose and self worth through the messy, magical rollercoaster of life.”

Sandi SerlingFounder, Activating Happy

“It was refreshing, touching, heartfelt, blunt, creative, educational, clever, raw, artfully written, honest, sad, devastating, funny, hopeful, helpful, shocking, more! Your journey made my journey feel more “okay” and some of the similarities gave me a sense of relief and peace in knowing that someone else just said these things out loud! Thank you for allowing us to be eyewitnesses to your sharing of your truth, which in my case reflects as familiarity and an awareness of part of mine. Self discovery, lack of self, dealing with disillusionment, disappointment, seeking and finding awareness, growth, change, relationships and journey into and out of the ‘dark flight of the self’ are all things that many of us have had to deal with or are still dealing with at some level, but perhaps haven’t wanted to openly identify as part of a phase. This book brings it forward, calls it what it is and extends a hand to hold while walking through the fog! Thanks again❤️”

Tascha GamrothReal Estate

“I pretty much connected with all of your book, with obvious exceptions of those things limited by being male. You have definitely struck a chord, and one that I feel will resonate widely. The description of inertia and the loss of identity, and how that’s different from depression….Amazing. Your take on expectations is brilliant. I appreciate reading something that actually speaks to what I’m going through in a way that is both firm and avoids shaming. It’s interesting how it immediately imparts hope and meaning. I think that I have been going through this for several years. But since there is no name for the “it” the overwhelming tendency is to blame self. The inertia, feeling crazy, etc. All of that you got frightfully well. And therapy has names for it, dysthimia, depression, anxiety disorder. And nothing against therapists, I am a former one, LOL, but this allowed a connection that encouraged a freedom, a letting go, a way to say ” fuck it” that is actually invigorating. Validating. I think that you have touched on a displacement that is very particular to our time. I can speak as a fifty something therapist who has read every possible self help book to explain the last few years and this has resonated deeply. Grief, and not wanting to admit that an image has died, and hearing the nudges of an inner voice that wants to be known. And feeling it by being overly emotional at any act of kindness etc. Yeah, nailed it!”

J. DavisTeacher