Episode 1: Let Some Things Go, So You Can Grow
Welcome to the very first episode of Eyedentity Talk – a podcast that aims to create deeper conversations with dynamic people from all walks of life about how new lives completely shifted who they thought they were and ultimately, how they come to “see” themselves again.
Today, I’m excited to converse with Kevin Rankin. Aside from being a rockstar drummer, he’s an amazing human and a talented individual, that like many of us, went through some meaningful midlife shifts.
Kevin’s been performing professionally since he was 16 years old. He began honing his skills in the ski resort bars of Montana. He spent several nights a week in smoky taverns, learning the ropes of the live music business. He’s performed with a series of internationally successful acts, including Jennifer Batten, Eddie Martinez, Missing Persons, and Animotion. In 2016 he joined the ‘80s powerhouse, A Flock of Seagulls, and since then, he’s been touring around the world playing in front of thousands of people, bringing joy and music.
Tune in, and listen to Kevin’s story, where he especially focused efforts to juggle multiple identities at once: rock star drummer guy, dad, husband, and a web designer that was so passionate about his work, that he’d take calls in the middle of the night.
Listen and discover what conclusions he’s drawn from living such a tumultuous life, and how these impacted his future self.
Some questions I ask:
- What were some of the things that defined you and that you saw yourself as? (05:38)
- How was it for you, as a man, to show your vulnerability to the world? (21:30)
- Who is this person that you’re seeing glimmers of, when you think about yourself? (27:49)
- Do you judge yourself or other people in general? (28:59)
- How do you get yourself back to seeing yourself as you are, when you need it? (34:16)
In this episode, you will learn:
- The goal of my book, “Me, My Selfie & Eye”. (01:24)
- What I am going to bring to the table through Eyedentity Talk. (02:39)
- Kevin’s story of how he shifted from playing clarinet to playing drums. (10:37)
- When your partner’s identity and yours intertwine too much, you lose your own identity. (13:03)
- A pivot point in Kevin’s life, when he acknowledged that he was in an unhealthy codependent relationship. (19:09)
- Accepting that you are not perfect, helps you change the parts of your life you’re not proud of. (22:58)
Connect with Kevin:
Book: Me, My Selfie & Eye: A Midlife Conversation About Lost Identity, Grief & Seeing Who You Are